I am George McFly

How many times have you ever said the phrase to yourself: "I just don't think I can handle that kind of rejection"?  I didn't even realize I was George McFlying myself until just recently, and it took such a long time probably because I had been doing this subconsciously.  I've been way too much of a chameleon at work and otherwise, and frankly I'm getting sick of trying to be the person I think those in proximity want me to be.  It's tiring.  I can't pretend anymore I give a shit about American Idol, office newsletters, OR1-4, how people do my job function in other parts of the world, or pretty much anything else at my job.  In fact, if I was a little more honest with myself a year and a half ago, I would have NEVER even accepted the offer.  I only show this one side of me at work and I'm getting really tired of hiding.

When it gets down to it, there is more in my life like my job than I realize, whether I do things I don't care for to pay the rent, pass the time, or serve as a distraction.  I don't think I'm ready to embark on a life overhaul, and I don't think it's particularly necessary,  but I guess I can start by being a little less scared of what people will think.  I started another blog, Drive Straight Home, which is something I'm SOOO not ready to share with people, but I guess it's my way of trying to change the future, to say to Biff, "hey you, get your damn hands off her."  When I am ready to share, I hope it might help one or two people, even if it's just me.  

It's all well and good to write about cookies, and I think it's very important to do so, but it's equally important to share the burnt underside sometimes.  Plus, I like burnt cookies.

Jesus Dolls and Dirty Dancing

Well, the separation between church and corporation sure is getting small. We have http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/11/17/jesus.doll.ap/index.html. And then there is Wal-Mart saying Merry Christmas to its customers. Even though I celebrate Christmas, I just don't think I'd be one of those people that say, "what's wrong with saying Merry Christmas?! This is a time to spread joy of the season!"

I have worked retail too many Christmases to buy the fact that a Wal-Mart employee is going to define your holiday season. No, scratch that. I have worked retail too many Christmases to buy the fact that a Wal-Mart employee is going to define MY holiday season. There are enough insane frumpy women out there that actually DO care. It's not the Merry Christmas that bothers me, it's the people that made Merry Christmas happen. My answer to them:

The Ladies' Auxiliary. http://www.myspace.com/theladiesauxiliary

On a different note, I have officially decided that I'm not going to pretend anymore. I'm coming out of the closet as an official fan of the movie "Dirty Dancing". I really identify with Baby in a lot of ways. I think that there is some really clever symbolism in the movie (or maybe I'm reading too much into the parallels between Baby's character and the loss of American innocence?). However you put it, I just like it. I like the soundtrack (except of course the 80's song that just doesn't belong at the end). I like the character development. I like Jennifer Grey. I like the fact that I totally understand what it's like being the daughter of someone like Baby's father. I like the cars. And you know what? I think Patrick Swayze is really hot in that movie. Above all, I like that it makes me happy when I'm sad. Call me dumb, call me cheezy, call me a kindred spirit. I don't care, cuz Baby, I'm out of that closet.