IT'S SQUIRRELS!!!

I swear I don't have a squirrel obsession.  In fact, if you know my even a little bit you know I was dangerously close to growing into a "bird lady" (similar to a cat lady, only with more parasites).

It's almost spring and nature's abound.  Living in a deciduous ecosystem, I see lots of migratory birds, stinkbugs, and squirrels.  For a while, in our old apartment, we had a mouse problem.  They were everywhere and really difficult to get rid of; quite often I would have rodent-related nightmares.  One night, Mike was fixing his keyboard, I was asleep, and I jumped out of the bed and hollered, "IT'S SQUIRRELS!!"

Something Inrcredibly Impersonal/Uncomfortably Personal

I don't know about any of you readers out there, but I'm so sick of not telling the truth. Sick of being fake and sick of having to put on a smile just because I feel I should (or some stranger actually tells me to "SMILE" which in my opinion is the worst interaction ever. You can't be polite and say to them, 'look there is a reason why I'm not smiling and right now you're it.'). I've had so many incredibly impersonal "friendships" in my life and I'm just tired. In the event that someone from the past contacts me, I wrote out an uncomfortably personal script, which should save me some time. I'll just send them this link and call it a day.

Hey there. How are things going?

I'm doing well. Yeah, the job's going great, thanks for asking. Yeah it's a great place to work, I'm really lucky.

Oh, I love my new town, it's not difficult at all knowing two people here, one of which is away a lot, and the other I didn't see for three months.

The band? We're on a break what with my moving and needing a new job et. al. Now that things are settled, I'm ready to get back out there! I'm not at all scared of the one thing I want most in this world.

My family? Oh they're super! Yeah it's great that I was so happy about what they did for me on my birthday, I cried literally all day! And I really don't think any of them noticed, which really warms my heart!

Going to shows solo. Robert Pollard. Mothballs. Second Life. Cookie update.

I wrote this one today, also on my myspace blog:
I am the type of person who goes places by herself if she really wants to. I don't need someone there with me, especially at shows. Last night I went to see Robert Pollard at World Cafe Live in Philadelphia. First of all, I love the fact that it took me fifteen minutes to get there and back (less than going to New Brunswick from my parents' house). The sound system in that place is wonderful. And I can't believe how old I feel.

Yes, the crowd was just as old and many were older than me, but a lot of people were drunk and acting really stupid. Robert Pollard had this gigantic tub of beer on ice in the middle of the stage, and he had a full bottle of Jose Cuervo, which he proceeded to share with the crowd. I have never seen so many people fall all over themselves just for a taste of alcohol. Is it because it is Robert Pollard's? I really hope so because seeing that kind of behavior made me sick. I just feel so old because I am just not a part of this culture of getting drunk anymore. I don't miss it, and the point of reporting this is that when it comes down to it, I wish that shows were less about booze and more about the music and performance. It makes me realize that when I used to drink, it was 90% about alcohol and about 10% about the music. What I have now is so much better. I don't need the crutch of the glass in my hand, and it's really liberating.

The crowd last night smelled like a mix of mothballs, tobacco, old lady skin, and of course beer. It was really weird. There were these really nerdy guys that were right next to me and I guess they were the ones that smelled. They even brought the liner notes to Robert Pollard's new album to sing along. They all looked like they were really into Lord of the Rings and played LARP.

This was the first show that I went to in a while where I didn't know someone playing. It was an odd feeling watching people I don't know at all. The whole experience was so much less personal. I have my own personal experiences attached to the music played last night, but I can't attach it to the people playing. I have to say I like it a lot better when I know X person playing on stage, even if they didn't write the music. I love knowing the backstory.

The opening band was SO not my thing at all. I can't stand it when people perform and they don't connect with the audience. They could have been practicing in their basement for all we knew. I mean, yeah it's really hard to be an opening band when not many people are there, but it's also not that hard to come out of your shell a little bit and make an impression on someone. And the music was just so long and drawn out and didn't really go anywhere. Ugh!

I just saw this thing on Good Morning America about something called Second Life. It sounds like an internet version of the Sims. The crazy part is that you can make money or spend money on this thing. I don't understand it. People are predicting that we're going to spend our lives on it, it's the new email. Like you can go to "shows", buy houses (with real money!!) and all sorts of crap. I can't wrap my brain around this. It's like video games for boring people.

I still don't know what kind of cookie is my favorite. I got a really awesome mixer for my birthday (From my boyfriend's parents who said "now you can make our son cakes". So funny!). Hopefully with the new mixer will come a new sense of self.