Reflections on the Ivy League and Cookies

I posted this on my myspace blog a couple weeks ago, I figure this is a good place to start:

I have been associated with the ivies for a little more than three weeks now, and here are some scattered observations:
1. Professors in the ivies really do have Austrian accents, and wear cardigans with patches on the elbows.
2. I keep forgetting my audience. Upper crust ivy people just don't laugh as much as us NYU folk.
3. Academia creates celebrities just as much as any other form of art. Only it's worse. I have a problem with art that isn't accessible, and the ivies are the epitome of that. These academic celebrites probably get just as much ass (and just as many people to kiss theirs) as any rock star I've heard of. Not that I know a lot of rock stars, but you get the point.
4. Those annoying kids in your classes in college who sat in front and asked questions not to ask questions but to sound smart, they turn into professors who either attend or hold lectures for colleagues, and they do the same thing. They're the same people, just older and have gotten laid more (see number 3).
5. Even if men are colorblind and still dress themselves, it's accepted in this culture. Women still have to look hot, even when you're really well-respected. Hot women get further in life. I'm not trying to go against my gender, that's just a fact.
6. This doesn't have to do with ivies, but I'm alarmed to admit that I don't think I have a favorite kind of cookie. Holy shit! I'm like that really bad Richard Gere/Julia Roberts movie where she doesn't have a favorite way of preparing eggs. I don't have a favorite cookie and I should really have one. My least favorite is Snickerdoodles because they remind me of cycle class in the 7th grade when I got made fun of for eating too many (I was LARGE). Dammit!
7. If I had gone to an ivy-league as an undergrad (I didn't even apply, I knew it wasn't for me then. And not because I couldn't get in), I would have been really miserable. Except maybe at Barnard, that place seems cool. But NYU was way more hip. I can play the game 6 degrees of Matador, and stop at 2.
8. One of my bosses looks JUST like Peter from the Guess Who game in the 90's (not the new version). Please tell me someone knows who this is.
9. It rocks that I have off the week between Christmas and New Year's, and I'm getting paid for it.
10. There are now a gaggle of medical students that are younger than me. If it were some other world, I would be a 3rd year med student right now. That means that if you were sick in a university hospital, I might have gone to your bed. Me. One of the first-years at Penn hit on me the other day. He looked like he was 19, and was just so damn congenial. I didn't have the heart to be the one to break his spirit and tell him about the real world.
11. There is a reason why I moved out of my parents' house. There are lots of them. One of which is that now I am a feather in my father's cap over at IVY LEAGUE. Before I was dust swept under the rug. Neither felt good, because neither is really me.
12. People sure are nice where I work. Maybe it's the free tuition? "Only the educated are free?"